The Vowels Would Like To Have a Word with Us
A statement from Ambassador H. Mitsuzuka on behalf of The Vowel Appreciation Society (VAS): To Whom It May Concern (and this should concern a lot of you), Here at VAS, it has been brought to our attention that the Vowels have grown increasingly distraught over recent developments in the English language, particularly when it comes to their functionality. This is a result of the notable decrease in the usage of A, E, I, O, and U over the last 20 years, especially when it comes to brand names and slang-oriented music. The Vowel E has been particularly affected by this disturbing phenomenon, as seen in companies like Grindr, Crumbl, Tumblr, and Flickr. ( Thankfully Twitter never followed suit when it was originally founded in 2006 .) Now, the Vowels, in an unprecedented move, wish to break their silence on the matter and have prepared the below statement: To All Americans and Other English Speakers: We understand the world has significantly changed since the beginning of the 21st century....
