June 21, 2016
A Farewell to Tonsils
Tonsils, we've been through a lot.
Who knew we'd be together this long? I certainly didn't. You were supposed to go away once I hit puberty, but you stuck around. In fact, you got bigger. Inflamed, if you will. You're like the imaginary friend who never disappeared.
Remember that time when I found those white stones on you? No wonder I had bad breath!
Remember all of those delicious meals we had? That lasagna! Those desserts!
But I'm afraid we have to part ways. My doctor says you're useless. If we stay together, things will only get more complicated. Things like more halitosis...and sleep apnea. I know you want the best for me. I know you wouldn't want me to suffer through another one of my biannual sore throats. That's why it's time to say goodbye.
So, tonsils, on behalf of the other masses of tissue and glands in my body, thanks for the memories. You'll be missed -- actually, let's be honest here. You probably won't be.
But you won't be forgotten.
*My tonsillectomy is scheduled for Friday, June 24. My throat's gift registry can be found at all ice cream and smoothie shops in the greater Los Angeles area. Thanks.
Dear Christmas, Thanksgiving here. I realize you may still be coming down from the sugar highs of Halloween ( how great were those co...
When one nostalgically binges on all seven seasons of The Golden Girls like me (I swear I have a life), you pick up on a few things. C...
Earlier this year, when the trailer for the most recent Murder on the Orient Express remake was dropped, I was hoping that someone at 20...