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Showing posts from November, 2011


Random Thought of the Week #28

What if there were a Broadway musical based on the discography of Ace of Base? Hey, if it happened to ABBA, it could happen to everyone's favorite Swedes from the 90s.

If I ran things, I'd simply call it The Sign, an epic romance set against the backdrop of the "turbulent yet carefree 1990s" (as quoted from my hypothetical Playbill). Perhaps we could be treated to an emotional rendition of "Don't Turn Around" in which our hero and heroine are on the verge of a teary-eyed break-up. Maybe our heroine doesn't approve of her man's lifestyle as a jewel thief and con artist and breaks out into a rip-roaring version of "Living in Danger," complete with choreography by Mia Michaels or Travis Wall.

Just throwing it out there. And if it does happen, just remember who came up with the idea first.



H.P.M.


DIARY OF THE FUNEMPLOYED: Free Caffeine Fix

My relationship with coffee didn't begin until I was 21 (call me a late bloomer).

It was a cold autumn morning in 2001. To make a few extra bucks my college roommate and I got up at the buttcrack of dawn to stand in line at the Fleet Center in downtown Boston and wait for the box office to open. The "job" consisted of buying the maximum number of tickets (premium seats, whatever the event) for a local ticket brokerage firm that later sold them "at premium prices" to their "clients." We were to meet a contact who would give us hundreds of dollars in cash for the purchase (they held onto our IDs as collateral so that we wouldn't run off). Although it seemed shady and sneaky, it was a totally legit operation. And it paid in cash. One hundred bucks for two hours of our time.

Anyway, what got me up and ready for the early task was a cup of vanilla roast from Dunkin' Donuts. My roommate, Steve, had introduced me to it. It was warm and smooth and invi…


THE SANTA SESSIONS: The 2011 Holiday Playlist

This was inevitable. After all, if Justin Bieber and Zooey Deschanel can pop out Christmas compilations, then why can't I?

I've always believed that a steady, well-balanced diet of contemporary and classic holiday tunes is necessary for any celebration involving tinsel, candy canes, and spiked eggnog. Therefore I've come up with a small sample of what's on my playlist between now and December 25. I mean, there's only so many times I can listen to Bruce Springsteen's "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" on the radio, so I'll be relying on my iPod to deck the halls with boughs of ear candy.

1. "When Christmas Comes" by Mariah Carey & John Legend
2. "Shake Up Christmas" by Natasha Bedingfield
3. "It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas" by Michael Buble
4. "I'll Be Home For Christmas" by Katharine McPhee
5. "White Christmas (Live)" by Lady Gaga



6. "Happy Xmas (War is Over)" by Charice
7.…


Random Thought of the Week #27

There's something consoling about seeing a Rolls Royce waiting in line at a McDonald's drive-thru.

Rich people: they have cravings just like us.

H.P.M.


Titanic 3D: Bringing 1997 Back

So, it appears James Cameron is resurrecting his cash cow from 1997 for a 2012 audience. You know, the one about the big boat that sinks (if you consider that a spoiler, then welcome back from Jupiter).

I guess it's the lesser of two evils. I mean, at least it's not a remake...or a sequel. Oh, wait, that already happened.

Go ahead. Roll your eyes. Let's see how many fools will be clamoring for those 3D glasses come April. After all, if you think about it, there's now a entire generation that hasn't experienced this romantic epic on the big screen, and after devouring the 3D spectacle that was Avatar, these kids today just might bite and a buy an overpriced ticket to see "that guy from Inception" and "that MILF from Contagion" get it on the backseat of a 1912 Renault. Take a look at the newfangled trailer:



*Yes, it's true that I saw this film three times in the theater when I was senior in high school. Yes, it's true that I proudly own Celin…


FROST FACTOR: The 2011 Winter Playlist

Winter technically doesn't start until December 21 (Happy 90th, Grandma), but I'm here to prep you ahead of time. This one's for the Thanksgiving dinners, the Black Friday trips to the mall, the commute to work as you sip on a peppermint mocha and mentally put together what you'll be wearing to the office holiday party.

1. "Princess of China" by Coldplay feat. Rihanna - The collaboration that should've never worked...works.
2. "Love On Top" by Beyonce
3. "Holidays" by Miami Horror - I'm a little late to the party celebrating this Australian electro-pop group. And the title of this carefree jam just happens to fit the season.
4. "No Light, No Light" by Florence and the Machine - My favorite track off the majestic Ceremonials is also one of the best singles of 2011. Rise up and rejoice.
5. "The One That Got Away" by Katy Perry - Because the girl (or her record label) would like to smash Michael Jackson's record a…


Japanglish

At first I thought this PCD-influenced girl group was attempting to cover Republica's "Ready to Go" - you know, with the requisite butchering of prepositional phrases (stereotypical but true). But upon viewing this flashy music video I discovered that it's just your run-of-the-rice-mill single from 4Minute, one of the many pop groups treading water in the ocean that is the saturated J-Pop market.

There are a few English words thrown around ("shining star," "shut up and go away," and of course, the title declaration). And I can't help but think that they're chanting my name at the :51 and 1:53 marks. But that's probably just my ego talking.

Enjoy:


Dancing Around Questions With The Stars

I recently interviewed a couple of celebs for HIH. It was a chance to sit in a comfy suite at a posh hotel, enjoy a free meal, and sneak a couple of disposable hand towels from the bathroom (Shhh...). You can catch one HERE and the other HERE.

*For you Michael Fassbender fanatics, that one's coming soon. *UPDATE 11/29/11 - Here it is.

H.P.M.


Random Thought of the Week #26

To the creative culinary mind at Trader Joe's who came up with the idea to sell milk chocolate-covered potato chips, I thank you. And hate you.

Not only have you given me pure, unadulterated joy, you have also cursed me with yet another edible distraction filled with enough calories to corrupt the healthiest of the healthy (seriously, if you have no urge to try one, then you have no soul).

You promise that "every crunchy bite brings a symphony of flavors and textures that please the palate and bring joy to the world. Or at least to your taste buds." Just admit it - it causes severe foodgasms. You also claim that it "fits right in with a balanced lifestyle." Clearly you haven't seen how balanced my kitchen cabinet has been lately.

Munch, munch,

H.P.M.


FLASHBACK: Chante Moore Anyone?

The year was 2000. And lost in the shuffle was this bumpin' R&B number from a woman who would forever struggle in the shadows of giants like Mariah, Aaliyah, and Lauryn. I'm talking about Chante Moore, the former Mrs. Kadeem Hardison (that's right, A Different World's Dwayne Wayne!), and her single-that-shoulda-soared "Straight Up."

I randomly happened to remember that I had put this jam on one of my European-influenced mix CDs after living in London during the first half of 2001 (such carefree, pre-9/11 times). I had caught this video while watching MTV UK in my flat and was hooked ever since, sadly never seeing it catch on here in the States.

And looking back now, it just screams early 21st century (Tae-Bo choreography! Sports jersey midriffs!). How quaint compared to the glittery dance trash that's currently being forced down the ears of the American public.

You're welcome:


Theme Song of the Month: November 2011

It's not every day you get to have a religious experience while listening to a song.

Well, today is that day. Florence and the Machine's "No Light, No Light" is one majestic piece of pop, a thundering opus of epic proportions (and the rest of the album ain't too shabby either). Those pounding drums. That rousing chorus. And yes, those are harps you hear being strung at the 1:02 mark.

My brothers and sisters, get down on your knees and worship with me: