The First Echo

My first visit to Fear Street was 27 years ago.

In the fall of 1990, I picked up a copy of the eighth title in the series, Halloween Party, and throughout the following decade I was hooked on the sinister goings-on in the fictitious town of Shadyside. Since then, there hasn't been a book in R.L. Stine's seminal series I haven't read. (To see how fanatical I am, see: here.) And now, as a grown-ass thirtysomething, I'm proudly reading the new batch of hardcover novels the 72-year-old author is pumping out for the next two years - albeit with a much more critical eye.

That's why I like to think I'm an expert when it comes to all things Fear Street. Hence the many things I've learned from reading these YA thrillers for nearly a decade...

LIFE LESSONS FROM FEAR STREET
1. If you're new in town, believe every single story about the street where creepy and nasty stuff happens. And then move again.

2. Don't take any babysitting jobs in a house where someone …

I was horribly mistaken.

And it wasn't because we were dressed like twins during this Outfest event back in 2009 (two months before Modern Family premiered). A short film I had produced with Michael Medico (left) was making the rounds on the festival circuit that summer, and back then, I clearly lacked any skills in making proper eye contact.

@TheFirstEcho

It all started with The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story, Lifetime's shamelessly exploitative TV movie about the behind-the-scenes drama of everyone's favorite Saturday morning sitcom.

Then came news of The Unauthorized Full House Story and The Unauthorized Beverly Hills 90210 Story. More blatant capitalization on 90s nostalgia. More reasons to stay in on the weekend with a bowl of popcorn, a large pizza, and a group of your friends who share the same love-hate relationship with these pathetically produced pieces of treacle.

And now, we have the inevitable Unauthorized Melrose Place Story, an attempt to showcase all of the real-life scandals behind the show about a scandalous apartment building.

I consider the original MP a sacred piece of television. It defined a part of my adolescence. It was one of the shows that inspired me to become a TV writer. (Before I wanted to be the next J.J. Abrams, I wanted to mirror the career of Aaron Spelling.) You can even read about my c…

I think I've lived in Los Angeles long enough to be familiar with all of the tropes and trappings this city is known for. I think 13 years is long enough to identify the cliches and typical characteristics with which its residents are associated. Granted, I've been guilty of some of the following, but let's face it: It's time to move on and be a little more unique in the way we present ourselves as Angelenos.

1. Using traffic as an excuse for being late - Sure, there may be some scenarios in which traffic is a legitimate bitch (see: my 10 Types of L.A. Traffic), but let's face it: you suck at time management and left your apartment late because you were too busy choosing which shirt to wear to brunch. Speaking of...

2. Waiting an hour to get a table for brunch - How about we switch it up and do a potluck at someone's house instead? If you choose a restaurant where waiting for a table lasts twice as long as enjoying a meal, go somewhere else.

3. Getting high at Ci…