Anyone experiencing more malaise this holiday season – or is it just me?

It was four days before Halloween, and the Burbank Town Center was already looking, feeling, and smelling like Christmas. 

I had an hour to kill before my showing of Bugonia started at the AMC on the third floor of the mall. 

A quick browse through Bath & Body Works turned into an onslaught of green, red, and silver displays of lotions, hand wash, and candles – all attempting to emulate the scents of the holidays. Peppermint this, sugarplum that. I had missed my chance to take advantage of the fall-themed body wash sale that ended the previous weekend. Screw the autumn harvest; you're gonna smell like Mrs. Claus's cookies before Tom Turkey rears his wattle in November goddammit!

Meanwhile, past the escalators and signage promoting Mrs. Field's latest, the gaping entrance to Macy's twinkled from afar. I could see the garland and boughs of holly above the perfume counters, resurrected early from storage, hovering above the jaded salespeople like an ominous message: Forget trick-or-treating. What are you getting your loved one for Christmas this year? Buy now!

Normally, the appearance of smiling snowmen, oversized candy canes, and decorated wreaths in stores would elicit a sense of joy – anticipation for the season of giving. But something about this holiday season just feels...different.

Maybe it's because this will be my second Christmas without both of my parents. (Grief doesn't go on a holiday break.) Maybe it's because I am facing another holiday season without a full-time job in an industry that remains in an existential crisis due to a combination of corporate greed, unregulated technology, and increasingly troubling politics.

Maybe it's the moroseness of Middle Age? Has everything just lost its luster as I become more jaded, age on, and move forward into an uncertain future?

Maybe it's the fact that I know people whose SNAP benefits are being withheld because the federal government would rather let its citizens starve than go back to work to negotiate reasonable healthcare for all Americans.

Maybe it's the decline of media literacy and the fact that more and more people are demonstrating a severe lack in critical thinking and empathy – becoming more susceptible to lies, false news, and radicalization.

And while we're on subject, maybe it's because of the National Literacy Institute's recent findings which reveal that more than half of American adults read below a sixth-grade level. (That would explain the godawful "bestselling" novel The Housemaid, but that's another rant for another time.)

Maybe it's because there seems to be an overall lack of awareness – of everything. More and more people appear to have no awareness when it comes to personal space (by all means, girl glued to her phone, cut in front of me while I balance a tray of coffee), decorum (must you have a FaceTime call in a bookstore?), etiquette (just STFU in any movie theater), and general common sense. 

Maybe it's because there are countless people who continue to feel the effects of climate disasters, grieving the loss of homes and livelihoods, while local leaders make minimal efforts to prevent future turmoil. 

Or maybe it's because the White House – the People's House – is literally being torn down to appeal to the fascist whims of an authoritarian who continues to set fire to the fabric of democracy in every way possible. 

Whatever the reason, it's making the early Christmas takeovers in stores and malls everywhere feel grosser. The shameless attempts to keep the capitalism machine running have never felt hollower. 

For those who typically suffer from the annual Holiday Blues or any other kind of mental health challenges, I feel your pain. The struggle is real, now more than ever, but I've come to realize there are ways to keep myself from drowning in the malaise of it all. 

Staying present is a start. (It's also a main takeaway my therapist keeps emphasizing.) Yes, you can acknowledge the harsh realities of our current existence, but do what you have to do for yourself (and others) today. Don't keep thinking about what needs to be done tomorrow, a week from now, or next month. It can get overwhelming to pile all of your concerns and worries into one giant heap of stress. Tomorrow hasn't happened yet, so approach each moment, each day, at a time. 

Focus on the stuff you currently have, not what's missing from your life. Start simple (I have a good bed to sleep in – I love my pillow.) Move up from there: I have my own transportation and can still afford gas...I have a relatively good support system of friends... A small dose of gratitude can go a long way and give you that slight shift in perspective needed to help you silence any voices that will try to keep you in the dark. It will also help you build more compassion for yourself (and others). 

“The more mindfully aware we are, the more naturally we savor our experience,” says Scott Rogers, a law lecturer and founder and director of the Mindfulness in Law Program at the University of Miami School of Law. “Whether attending a party, walking in nature, watching children open gifts, enjoying a meal, or sitting with a friend or by ourselves sipping coffee or tea, the more present and less distracted we are, the more we can immerse in the experience.” 

This kind of mindfulness is needed more than ever this holiday season, and I'm going to try my darnedest to follow these practices. After all, being mindful can help us identify negative emotions that will threaten to ruin the yuletide cheer we all deserve. 

There are plenty of resources out there to help keep our heads up in a world that does so much to bring us down. They are only an article or meme away:

10 Ways to Beat the Holiday Blues (UConn)

Feeling Sad Amid the Festivities (Very Well Mind)

Depression and Anxiety Around the Holidays (Scottsdale Recovery)

Managing Your Mental Health During the Holidays (TrueCare)

Navigating the Holiday Blues (VA.org)