Skip to main content


20 Things I've Learned About Living in L.A. (Thus Far)

I thought I'd save this for next year's anniversary blog celebrating 10 years of living in the City of Angels, but why wait? I'm sure I'll stumble upon other discoveries before next summer rolls around. Here are twenty little nuggets I thought I'd share in the meantime (are there any I'm missing?).

1. Arclight Cinemas = Best. Popcorn. Ever.

2. Friends in other cities may gather together for movie nights and board game nights. Here, they gather together for award nominee screener nights and my-friend's-guest-starring-on-CSI nights.

3. Attractive, scantily-clad joggers should not be allowed to stretch and stand on the sidewalks of busy intersections; it's a driving hazard. And just not right.

4. When in doubt, take Fountain Avenue (or Olympic).

5. When the invite says 8pm, arrive at 9pm. Or, depending on the host, don't show up at all.

6. Some casting directors are jaded, former actors with a penchant for pot-smoking, obsessing over the shenanigans of Bravo reality-TV stars, and dating those who qualify as "10s."

7. Anyone who's ever tried to adamantly defend living in the Valley most likely considers "a wild night out" to include a cocktail at The Americana before 8pm, followed by sushi and karaoke somewhere along Ventura Boulevard and an Evian nightcap on the couch in front the latest Saturday Night Live.

Courtesy of MyParkingSign.com
8. 2004: "Don't date the 818." 2011: "Nothing's fine about the 909." (Sorry, K.S.)

9. Valet can be avoided 90% of the time.

10. Yellow curbs are a godsend when looking for a parking space after 6pm.

11. The homeless beggar stationed at the 405 Freeway exit ramp on Santa Monica Boulevard earns more than I do in one day. I have no doubt.

12. Larchmont Village is the new Brentwood.

13. Abbot Kinney is the new Melrose.

14. The Sunset Junction street festival is an excuse for anti-WeHo gays to break out the assless chaps and for Silverlake hipsters to celebrate each other's ironic awesomeness.

15. The Grilled Cheese Truck and Umami Burger are conspiring against me in an attempt to sabotage my waistline.

16. The following is not always true: The longer the wait for a table, the better the brunch experience.

17. Downtown is where East Coast transplants attempt to recapture better days and fool themselves into thinking they live in lower Manhattan.

18. Soap actors love making appearances at The Griddle Cafe on Sunset (whether or not they consume the calories in those ginormous pancakes is irrelevant).

19. The four seasons of Los Angeles are as follows: Awards, Wildfire, Earthquake, and Pilot.

20. Celebrities - they're just like us. Except they get stuff for free (even though they earn 100 times more than us), pay people to polish their reputations, and come with truckloads of insecurities.

H.P.M.

Comments

Anonymous said…
all true.

Popular posts from this blog

The Class of '98 Turns 40

We are the Class of '98.

We're a little too old to be Millennials, yet too young to be GenXers. As of now, half of our lives has lived in one century while the other half lives and moves forward in another.

For us, Cabbage Patch Dolls were the 80s, Tamagotchi was the 90s, and Napster was the dawn of the 00s. We grew up with cassette tapes and Saturday morning cartoons. We came of age with CGI dinosaurs and the rise of the Frappucino. And we approach middle age with memes, reboots, and viral videos all designed to distract us from middle age.

We were too young to fully understand the words "Challenger explosion." We were too young to appreciate the fall of the Berlin Wall. But by the time places like Waco, Oklahoma City, and Littleton pinged on everyone's radar, we started to grasp how scary the world could be.

Our adolescence was defined by jagged little pills, prescriptions from Dr. Dre, and the fact that some of us were naughty by nature. We learned that nirva…


13 Things You Probably Didn't Know About 'The Golden Girls'

When one nostalgically binges on all seven seasons of The Golden Girls like me (I swear I have a life), you pick up on a few things. Certain patterns appear as you continuously witness the consumption of countless cheesecakes inside a fictitious Miami kitchen and hear one St. Olaf story too many.

Here's what I noticed after playing my DVDs of this 80s classic over the past several months (and if you're already familiar with the following factoids, excuse me for underestimating your fanaticism)...

1. Actor Harold Gould, who played Rose's long-term boyfriend Miles Webber from Season 5 to Season 7 (and throughout most of the short-lived spinoff, The Golden Palace), also appears in the first season as Arnie Peterson, Rose's first serious beau after her husband's death.

2. The same can be said for Sid Melton, who played Sophia's deceased husband Sal (in flashbacks and dream sequences). He also appears in a Season 6 episode as a jester in a medieval-themed restauran…

Just Because: 9 Music Videos That Take Place in Laundromats

It's one of the biggest music video tropes that's rarely explored in pop culture.

The public laundromat has become a go-to location for artists when making a music video for a single they wish to sell to the masses.

But WHAT IS IT about a space where ragtag groups of strangers gather to fluff and fold their delicates? Is it the obvious metaphor of dirty versus clean? The scintillating possibility of people stripping off their clothes for a wash?

I was feeling a little nostalgic (as usual) and took a look at some of the vids that have fallen under the spell of spin cycles over the past 30 years...

"EVERY HEARTBEAT" / AMY GRANT (1991)

Back in the early 90s, the Christian pop tart followed up her massively successful "Baby Baby" with "Every Heartbeat," a personal childhood favorite of yours truly (the Body & Soul Mix, of course). In one of the two vignettes featured in the video, a laundry-toting hottie attempts to flirt with a young woman who re…