WHO IS THE LOS ANGELES ARSONIST?


Suspect #1: Disgruntled Starbucks Barista - He's served thousands of lattes to unappreciative Angelenos, is mad as hell, and he's not gonna take it anymore!
Suspect #2: Lindsay Lohan - Because she's doing research for the role she wishes to covet in the Firestarter reboot.

Suspect #4: Some Guy Who Really Hates Driving - In an attempt to demonstrate how dependent we've all become on our cars, he sees himself as a revolutionary, torching - in his words - "the machines that have shaped every aspect of this metropolis and turned us all into commuting zombies."
Suspect #5: The "Rosas" Lady - Usually seen soliciting drinkers at The Abbey, she finally lost her patience with the superficial and indifferent crowds and...snapped. Notice how absent she's been lately on Santa Monica Boulevard. Just sayin'.
Suspect #6: Satan - Los Angeles has always been perceived as a modern-day Sodom (or Gomorrah), and the Devil Himself would like to make that a reality and literally turn L.A. into the City of Demons.

Any witnesses who would like to come forward and point a finger at the perpetrator(s) in a lineup are welcome to do so.
H.P.M.
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