Skip to main content

30 Signs I'm in My 30s

Since I neglected to post a birthday blog this year (forgetfulness alert!), I thought I'd compile a list of things I've noticed about myself lately. Consider this another example of me being overly observant and self-aware as I settle into Thirtydom and attempt to make sense of the controlled chaos I call my life.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who's found himself waxing nostalgic about trivial things like mix tapes and Netscape, and I know I'm not alone when I say that I've been content staying in on a Friday night with a couple of DVRed episodes of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

So grab a pencil. Because some of you may want to use this as a checklist...

1. Falling asleep on a friend's couch on a Saturday night...well before midnight...while watching a Woody Allen DVD.

2. Falling asleep in bed on a Saturday night...well before midnight...while watching old episodes of Felicity.

3. Adjusting to the reality that my "little" cousins are now posting pictures of their dorm room shenanigans on Facebook.

4. Educating my younger coworkers on the discography of Ace of Base.

5. Having phone conversations with my mother about her retirement plans.

6. Having phone conversations with my father about his senior discount at McDonald's.

7. Surfing through radio stations in the car...and stopping on LiteFM.

8. Being able to read 50 pages of a novel without interruption...and considering that a vacation.

9. Having no problem whatsoever leaving a club or bar before 1 in the morning.

10. Choosing a dirty martini over a Midori sour.

11. Thinking "that bucket list isn't such a bad idea."

12. Fully understanding the differences between a 401k and an IRA.

13. Realizing the Class of 2012 was born the year I started high school.

14. Rolling my eyes if more than half the tracks on a pop artist's new album contain "featured" guest artists who contribute nothing to said album.

15. Considering the MTV Video Music Awards a non-event.

16. Avoiding T-shirts with obnoxiously large logos.

17. Avoiding the urge to shop at retail stores with posters that resemble an AARP ad.

18. Familiarizing myself with baby and bridal registries...for other people.

19. Getting thoroughly excited when Trader Joe's brings back my favorite pre-packaged meal.

20. Being thoroughly disappointed when Trader Joe's discontinues my favorite snack.

21. Having fond memories of Netscape.

22. Stressing over my protein and sugar intake.

23. Developing crushes on CNN and MSNBC news correspondents.

24. Choosing Urban Home and Crate & Barrel over Ikea.

25. Finding the trunk of my car to be taken over by reusable grocery bags.

26. Transitioning debates from Backstreet Boys vs. NSYNC to Mad Men vs. Breaking Bad.

27. Having a hard time saying no to people (because I treat everything as an opportunity I wouldn't want to miss). *Not so much as an age thing; it's just something I've realized that explains why I've been having less and less "me" time.

28. Understanding how your parents must feel when their childhood idols pass away. While they cling on to two of The Beatles, I shall cherish the time I have with the last of The Golden Girls.

29. Falling into a slight depression while accepting the fact that the 90s started 20 years ago.

30. Updating my Facebook status with links to blogs about being 30.

Granted, some of the above doesn't have to be about "being in your 30s." Some of it simply signifies a life mostly spent in front of the TV...and for that, I have no shame.

That all said, I leave you with this brilliant, funny-cuz-it's-true video that went viral earlier this year:

Does this Tommy Hilfiger polo make me look lame?



Jenn said…
So, yesterday I was actually explaining the differences between a 401k and a RothIRA to my 23-year-old coworker.

And these are SO true for me: "Rolling my eyes if more than half the tracks on a pop artist's new album contain "featured" guest artists who contribute nothing to said album" and "Considering the MTV Video Music Awards a non-event."

I feel you, Hiks!

Popular posts from this blog

13 Things You Probably Didn't Know About 'The Golden Girls'

When one nostalgically binges on all seven seasons of The Golden Girls like me (I swear I have a life), you pick up on a few things. Certain patterns appear as you continuously witness the consumption of countless cheesecakes inside a fictitious Miami kitchen and hear one St. Olaf story too many.

Here's what I noticed after playing my DVDs of this 80s classic over the past several months (and if you're already familiar with the following factoids, excuse me for underestimating your fanaticism)...

1. Actor Harold Gould, who played Rose's long-term boyfriend Miles Webber from Season 5 to Season 7 (and throughout most of the short-lived spinoff, The Golden Palace), also appears in the first season as Arnie Peterson, Rose's first serious beau after her husband's death.

2. The same can be said for Sid Melton, who played Sophia's deceased husband Sal (in flashbacks and dream sequences). He also appears in a Season 6 episode as a jester in a medieval-themed restauran…

Just Because: 9 Music Videos That Take Place in Laundromats

It's one of the biggest music video tropes that's rarely explored in pop culture.

The public laundromat has become a go-to location for artists when making a music video for a single they wish to sell to the masses.

But WHAT IS IT about a space where ragtag groups of strangers gather to fluff and fold their delicates? Is it the obvious metaphor of dirty versus clean? The scintillating possibility of people stripping off their clothes for a wash?

I was feeling a little nostalgic (as usual) and took a look at some of the vids that have fallen under the spell of spin cycles over the past 30 years...


Back in the early 90s, the Christian pop tart followed up her massively successful "Baby Baby" with "Every Heartbeat," a personal childhood favorite of yours truly (the Body & Soul Mix, of course). In one of the two vignettes featured in the video, a laundry-toting hottie attempts to flirt with a young woman who re…

The Year My Childhood Was Literally Destroyed: Remembering Blessed Sacrament Elementary

2020 is already proving to be an emotionally challenging and bizarre year -- to put it mildly.

Barely three months in, our world is being filled with near-dystopian levels of absurdity. While watching an increasingly corrupt and inept administration fumble through the dawn of a global pandemic (the likes of which have already claimed the health of national treasure Tom Hanks), I recently learned that Blessed Sacrament Elementary, the school I attended from the ages of 4 to 14, will be demolished to make way for (what else?) modern, state-of-the-art residences. These sleek and stylish apartments (see a rendering below) are to accommodate the influx of Manhattan commuters who have been gradually populating the downtown sector of my hometown, New Rochelle, New York...which also happens to be the location of the first COVID-19 containment zone in the U.S.

But this isn't about the coronavirus and the panic it has rapidly spread, prompting everyone and their Boomer parents to go out an…