December 21, 2007:
If you were to catch me hopping onto the 6 train in the Bronx the other day, you would have thought I was smuggling under my arm a box containing a particular brand of sex toy. True, the words "fantasy" and "pleasure" were printed across its packaging. And true, the lettering was done in a sizzling font with a picture of a half-naked woman posing in the red background.
As many of you would love to believe otherwise, this was not an item I was packing to prepare myself for one helluva hedonistic time in downtown Manhattan. It was merely a part of my Christmas gift to Billy, a vibrating head massager imported from Hollywood. I thought the six-pronged tool could be useful on his clients during therapy sessions.
December 22, 2007:
"It's a little fucking crowded, sir. Have a happy holiday!"
- Woman maneuvering her way out of a packed subway at 23rd Street in response to an impatient man trying to squeeze in the same car: "Lady, what's taking you so long?"