Hallmark Channel Presents: A Christmas in Quarantine
This holiday season, marketing exec Maggie Whitewoman returns to her hometown to spend Christmas with her family. But first, to keep her loved ones safe, she'll have to spend a week in quarantine, renting out a cozy lodge owned by handsome carpenter (and widower) Ben Blandlyhot. Soon, when Maggie can't take any more Zoom meetings for work, she finds herself helping Ben make festive face masks for the townspeople - just in time for the annual Christmas Eve Festival - and finds that love can blossom even in isolation. But will Maggie give up a career (and a hard-earned Master's degree) to move back to a town where the most ethnic thing about it is an Italian restaurant owned by an Irish ex-pat from the Bronx? Starring That Actress from That 90s Teen Show Who Can't Get Cast in Anything Else and That Former Soap Hunk Who's Really a Closeted Conservative, it's...A Christmas in Quarantine.
Then, stay tuned for A Very Covid Christmas: When Susan Goodchristian catches the Corona and finds herself alone for the holidays at Pinecrest General, she finds inspiration in her fellow Covid patients and decides to plan a festive celebration just for them. But one thing she didn't plan while decking the halls with coughs aplenty: falling for handsome doctor Michael Feelgood. Can these two remain socially distant while their hearts grow metaphorically closer? A Very Covid Christmas stars That Actress from That Drama Series You Once Loved in the 2000s and That Generically Hot Guy You Saw in a Bunch of Luxury Car Commercials.
Finally, on A Vaccine for Christmas, virologist Vivian Wearsglasses stumbles upon a vaccine that can stop the Coronavirus's war on Christmas. But in order to get it to the right distributor, she has to team up with her ex, Brad Ruggedmale, who has set up shop back in their hometown of Wasp's Landing. Can these two work together and save the holidays? Starring That Pretty Actress Who's Just Attractive Enough to Seem Relatable and That Chiseled Actor Who's Really Gay and Can Easily Pass for Straight, it's...A Vaccine for Christmas.
*This has been a parody post. If you took this seriously, then please reconsider your daily intake of these TV movies.