CNN


9 People I May Know

After being a proud member of various social networks and living in L.A. for more than decade, Facebook has come to the conclusion that I know certain people.

According to The Facebook Blog:

People You May Know looks at, among other things, your current friend list and their friends, your education info and your work info. If you are already friends on Facebook with some people from your last job, for example, you may find some more of your former coworkers (assuming they are visible to you in search) among the "People You May Know' suggestions.

While I think it's pretty presumptuous of Mark Zuckerberg & Co. to assume that I could be potential BFFs with individuals I have never met (or admired from afar), I frequently get a kick out of seeing the connections that exist out there, these virtual friends who could very well clog up my news feeds with more status updates I don't need in my life.

And they are...

1. Girls with whom I once partied in Vegas and enjoyed many a shenanigan here in Los Angeles and who are now proud moms of babies. Their lives are probably much more fabulous than mine, and they probably think my life is much more fabulous than theirs.

2. Girls I knew in elementary school who now resemble the Real Housewives of New Jersey (one in particular is starting channel her inner Teresa Giudice).


3. That Guy Who Makes The Same Face In Every Photo. You know the type: pursed lips, shrugged shoulders, and a perpetual look that screams, "I rock, but I swear I'm not a douche." Um, yes you are.

4. Kevin Spacey (seriously, who do I know who knows him?)

5. An A-list director with a reputation for sleeping with much younger men. No, I haven't been solicited -- I wasn't born in the 90s.

6. A distant cousin who hasn't been in the same room as me since the early 90s. I'm not the same person I was since then, and most likely, neither is he. Ergo: why bother?

7. The wardrobe stylist for Bill Maher.

8. Chris Evans's brother. Yes, I'm one degree away from Captain Muthaf**kin' America.

9. President Barack Obama...

Just kidding.

@TheFirstEcho

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