Skip to main content

Lori Loughlin Reunites with Daughter Olivia Jade: A Dramatization


The following is purely speculative for the purposes of our general entertainment and my possible employment to write the inevitable HBO/Hulu/Netflix/Ryan Murphy limited series...



EXT. THE MOSSIMO ESTATE - DAY

A black SUV makes its way through a throng of news vans and a mob of reporters. Cameras flash. A proverbial media circus. The SUV pulls up to the gate as it slowly opens.


EXT. THE MOSSIMO COURTYARD - CONTINUOUS

The SUV makes its way up the driveway and stops. A shaken LORI steps out of the car. She's clearly had a rough night and glances up at the house, preparing herself for what's to come. Her assistant, RILEY, 27, an overly groomed twunk running on three Venti lattes, is right there with her. 

He attempts to guide her to the door, but she waves him away.


INT. THE MOSSIMO ESTATE - FOYER

Lori and Riley enter the quiet house, the outside chaos suddenly muted. No one is there to greet them.


RILEY
She should be upstairs in her room.

LORI
And Isabella?

Riley solemnly shakes his head.

Lori looks up at the top of the grand staircase. Afraid to take that first step. After a beat, she kicks off her Tory Burch flats.


INT. OLIVIA'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER

OLIVIA is curled up in the corner of her Bali Wood Canopy King Bed. In one corner of her room: piles of boxes of Olivia Jade x Sephora Bronze & Illuminate palettes. Her pale face is aglow from her phone as she listlessly scrolls through.

Lori stands in the doorway and then makes her way to the foot of the bed. Her daughter doesn't give any indication that she hears her mother approach. 

LORI
Liv, baby...

Olivia doesn't move from her position.

LORI
I don't know where to begin.

More silence. Lori is near tears.

LORI
Can we please talk?

Nothing. She makes another attempt.

LORI
Looks like you had a nice time on Rick's 
yacht. I'm sorry it had to be cut short.

OLIVIA 
(glued to her phone)
Did they put you in a cell?

LORI
What?

OLIVIA
Did they put you in a prison cell for the
night? Did you have to sleep on a cot?

LORI
What? No, honey. They had me in this room--

OLIVIA
They should've put you in a cell. They 
    should've made you practice. Rotting away. 
 Considering that's what you'll be doing 
in Hell someday.

LORI
Honey, please. I know you must be hurting...

Olivia turns to face her mother. The rage begins.

OLIVIA
Hurting? Try humiliated. Try totally shunned
by all my friends. Try devastated because all
my sponsors just dropped me. Like that! Gone.
This is officially the worst spring break EVER!
I hate you! How could you do this to me? My
life is beyond over! How can I ever go back to
school? How could I ever make another video? I
have two-fucking-million subscribers who rely
on my beauty and lifestyle tips! Do you know
what they've been saying about me on YouTube? 

LORI
Honey, why don't you put the phone down--

Suddenly, Olivia throws the phone across the room. It hits one of her makeup palette boxes, and like dominoes, it hits another box; several tumble to the floor.

OLIVIA
Do you know how much I was making each 
month?

LORI
Olivia, baby--

OLIVIA
DO YOU?! I was making more than you'd
ever make in one episode of that flaming
piece of shit you call a Hallmark show.
And ironically? I was making enough to pay
for a semester at the school you and Dad
paid some old dude to get me into.

LORI
It's so much more complicated than that. 

OLIVIA
I can't stand to look at you.

Lori wipes away her tears. Regains her composure. There's a shift in her tone.


LORI
You have no idea how much we invested in 
you and your sister.

OLIVIA
Half a million apparently.

LORI
What did you think those fake crew photos
were for? You knew what we were doing.

OLIVIA
Is this where you tell me I'm an ungrateful
little brat? That I should be thankful
for everything you and Dad have given me?

Lori doesn't recognize the young woman in front of her. She's at a loss for words.

OLIVIA
Face it, Mom. You're fucked. What are you
gonna do now that everyone knows America's 
Favorite Aunt is a conniving felon?

LORI
I'm so sorry, Olivia. Please. Tell me...
Just tell me, what can I do?

OLIVIA
(daggers in her eyes)
You can get the hell out of my room.

And with that, Lori backs away. She nods, the tears coming back. She closes the door behind her.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog


13 Things You Probably Didn't Know About 'The Golden Girls'

When one nostalgically binges on all seven seasons of The Golden Girls like me (I swear I have a life), you pick up on a few things. Certain patterns appear as you continuously witness the consumption of countless cheesecakes inside a fictitious Miami kitchen and hear one St. Olaf story too many.

Here's what I noticed after playing my DVDs of this 80s classic over the past several months (and if you're already familiar with the following factoids, excuse me for underestimating your fanaticism)...

1. Actor Harold Gould, who played Rose's long-term boyfriend Miles Webber from Season 5 to Season 7 (and throughout most of the short-lived spinoff, The Golden Palace), also appears in the first season as Arnie Peterson, Rose's first serious beau after her husband's death.

2. The same can be said for Sid Melton, who played Sophia's deceased husband Sal (in flashbacks and dream sequences). He also appears in a Season 6 episode as a jester in a medieval-themed restauran…

Dream Casting the New "Death on the Nile"

Earlier this year, when the trailer for the most recent Murder on the Orient Express remake was dropped, I was hoping that someone at 20th Century Fox would have the foresight to concoct an Agatha Christie Cinematic Universe. After all, this is the world we now live in -- where every property coveted by a major studio must have the potential to be milked for all it's worth. Plus, as a former child raised by an Agatha Christie fan, I am somewhat familiar with this world, and experiencing new renditions of these titles as an adult is exciting.

And now that Kenneth Branagh's version of the Hercule Poirot mystery has been released (and raking in $150 million-and-counting worldwide), it seems like my prayers are being answered. The studio is going ahead with a "sequel" in the form of a remake of Death on the Nile, another death-filled destination about the Belgian detective taking a river cruise in Egypt and coming across another corpse and another group of suspects.

The…

Just Because: 9 Music Videos That Take Place in Laundromats

It's one of the biggest music video tropes that's rarely explored in pop culture.

The public laundromat has become a go-to location for artists when making a music video for a single they wish to sell to the masses.

But WHAT IS IT about a space where ragtag groups of strangers gather to fluff and fold their delicates? Is it the obvious metaphor of dirty versus clean? The scintillating possibility of people stripping off their clothes for a wash?

I was feeling a little nostalgic (as usual) and took a look at some of the vids that have fallen under the spell of spin cycles over the past 30 years...

"EVERY HEARTBEAT" / AMY GRANT (1991)

Back in the early 90s, the Christian pop tart followed up her massively successful "Baby Baby" with "Every Heartbeat," a personal childhood favorite of yours truly (the Body & Soul Mix, of course). In one of the two vignettes featured in the video, a laundry-toting hottie attempts to flirt with a young woman who re…