Skip to main content


A Perfect 10

On June 27, 2002, yours truly landed at LAX with two giant suitcases, a Jansport backpack, a pair of wide eyes, and a curious case of naive ambition.

From a lowly production assistant who had to rely on a Thomas Guide map to maneuver himself through the boulevards of a new city...to a coffeeshop-hopping, funemployed freelancer who's always on the lookout for the next creative gig, I have become somewhat jaded after wearing several different hats over the past decade (In my best Ed Asner voice: Back in my day, we e-mailed AND faxed resumes. There was none of that social networking business). But one thing that hasn't changed is the ambition I carried with me when I departed New York's LaGuardia Airport on that fateful summer day. I proudly chose to live in a city where ambition is embedded in people's DNA. It's their oxygen. I also chose to live in a city where genuine talent is usually sideswiped by shallow trends and distracting gloss, making it all the more difficult to keep the "fire" burning. However, despite all of the jokes and pokes at the unavoidable traffic, the hipsterisms (you're not just pretty dumb; you're pretty and dumb), the ideal weather, and the increasingly blurred lines between work and play, I love to call L.A. my home. I really do.

If I didn't love it, then I wouldn't be writing this from a cafe while spying on a former reality-TV star who's on a first date with a well-muscled gentleman caller, would I?

I'd like to say that I have no regrets, because all of the decisions I made have brought me to this point in my life. And God knows I've gotten nostalgic and written about my L.A. anniversary plenty of times before (you can catch some of these reflective moments herehere and...here). However, if for some otherworldly reason I could travel back in time, there are some things I would tell my 22-year-old self. While some are warnings and silly "what if" fantasies, others are reassurances that would only guarantee my life's path. Here we go...

Dear 2002 Me,

• Take the internship at that small independent production company in Westwood because you'll meet a fabulous woman named Kathleen Newlove who will change your life.


• Write. And then write some more.

• Make sure your 2005 holiday flight home departs from Long Beach Airport and that you sit at the gate next to a familiar-looking guy named Matt Emert.

• It's okay if you don't get that job assisting the executive producer on the first season of that little reality show called America's Next Top Model.


• It's okay if you don't get the PA gig on the first season of that Kyra Sedgewick cop drama called The Closer.


• Go with Karim to that industry mixer at Here Lounge because you'll meet someone with a name as interesting and unique as yours: Swaga Deb. And on that note, make sure to accompany Karim one night to Jerry's Famous Deli on Beverly, for you will meet one Doug Kushla whose laptop will come in handy when you receive your first iPod.


• Eat more protein.


• When you take your first trip to Chicago in the summer of 2008, do not drink the spiked lemonade at Roscoe's. Just...don't.


• Don't forget to send a Thank You card.


• Befriend a Harvard kid named Mark Zuckerberg.


• Three words: Hot in Hollywood.


• In May of 2004, call your father before he pushes himself too hard on that golf course.


• Write a pilot about a high school glee club featuring a ragtag group of students.


• Don't hold back on expressing your feelings to a close friend.


• Do whatever it takes to get a meeting with J.J. Abrams.


• Second guessing is futile.


• Learn how to properly book travel...and Photoshop.


• Order the broccoli rice at Bossa Nova; it's a much healthier (and tastier) side option.


• It's okay to quit (and to say "no more").


• Don't be afraid to ask for help...

At the risk of sounding cheesy, corny, and all-of-the-above, I can't help but sit back and cherish every single job I've had, every single moment I've experienced, and every single friendly face I've met throughout the past decade (I've seen my fair share come and go). The nights driving down Santa Monica Boulevard. The countless searches for a parking space in West Hollywood. The delicious Sunday brunches on sidewalk patios. The crappy paychecks. The movie nights. The road trips...everything has its own little significance, and all of it adds up to a life I couldn't have imagined when I booked that one-way ticket to California shortly after graduating from college.

Not only has this been a ride of my life, it's been one continuous and ginormous lesson that I'm constantly learning with each passing day. I thank everyone who has followed and supported me ever since I sent that first e-mail -- my inaugural, post-collegiate "life update" -- from an air mattress on the living room floor of a friend's Burbank apartment (long before I ever got acquainted with a blog).

And with that, I leave you this:



Now someone give me a damn ribbon or a badge.

H.P.M.

*I shall toast this landmark occasion with my closest friends, my second family, tonight at the newly opened Tortilla Republic in West Hollywood (it's where Fat Fish used to be...See? I've lived here long enough to identify previous retail spaces). Swing by if you'd like.

Comments

Unknown said…
I'll take thrBossa Nova broccoli rice as a shout out! Congrats on 10yrs, and here's to a lifetime of adventure in LA!!

xo

krise
Jenn said…
Happy 10th LAnniversary!

I've enjoyed reading about your exploits - and being a part of them once - for the past 10 years. :)
Jenn said…
Happy 10th LAnniversary!

I've enjoyed reading about your exploits - and being a part of them once - for the past 10 years. :)
Alicia said…
Happy 10yrs in LA to my London buddy and almost birthday buddy!!! What a ride you've had, and I've loved keeping up with it and being filled with envy :) Congrats Hiko!! Keep it coming.
Anonymous said…
Picture this: It's late January and the year is 2004... I had just met a lovely boy named "Pico."

The rest is history.

Popular posts from this blog


13 Things You Probably Didn't Know About 'The Golden Girls'

When one nostalgically binges on all seven seasons of The Golden Girls like me (I swear I have a life), you pick up on a few things. Certain patterns appear as you continuously witness the consumption of countless cheesecakes inside a fictitious Miami kitchen and hear one St. Olaf story too many.

Here's what I noticed after playing my DVDs of this 80s classic over the past several months (and if you're already familiar with the following factoids, excuse me for underestimating your fanaticism)...

1. Actor Harold Gould, who played Rose's long-term boyfriend Miles Webber from Season 5 to Season 7 (and throughout most of the short-lived spinoff, The Golden Palace), also appears in the first season as Arnie Peterson, Rose's first serious beau after her husband's death.

2. The same can be said for Sid Melton, who played Sophia's deceased husband Sal (in flashbacks and dream sequences). He also appears in a Season 6 episode as a jester in a medieval-themed restauran…

Just Because: 9 Music Videos That Take Place in Laundromats

It's one of the biggest music video tropes that's rarely explored in pop culture.

The public laundromat has become a go-to location for artists when making a music video for a single they wish to sell to the masses.

But WHAT IS IT about a space where ragtag groups of strangers gather to fluff and fold their delicates? Is it the obvious metaphor of dirty versus clean? The scintillating possibility of people stripping off their clothes for a wash?

I was feeling a little nostalgic (as usual) and took a look at some of the vids that have fallen under the spell of spin cycles over the past 30 years...

"EVERY HEARTBEAT" / AMY GRANT (1991)

Back in the early 90s, the Christian pop tart followed up her massively successful "Baby Baby" with "Every Heartbeat," a personal childhood favorite of yours truly (the Body & Soul Mix, of course). In one of the two vignettes featured in the video, a laundry-toting hottie attempts to flirt with a young woman who re…

The Year My Childhood Was Literally Destroyed: Remembering Blessed Sacrament Elementary

2020 is already proving to be an emotionally challenging and bizarre year -- to put it mildly.

Barely three months in, our world is being filled with near-dystopian levels of absurdity. While watching an increasingly corrupt and inept administration fumble through the dawn of a global pandemic (the likes of which have already claimed the health of national treasure Tom Hanks), I recently learned that Blessed Sacrament Elementary, the school I attended from the ages of 4 to 14, will be demolished to make way for (what else?) modern, state-of-the-art residences. These sleek and stylish apartments (see a rendering below) are to accommodate the influx of Manhattan commuters who have been gradually populating the downtown sector of my hometown, New Rochelle, New York...which also happens to be the location of the first COVID-19 containment zone in the U.S.

But this isn't about the coronavirus and the panic it has rapidly spread, prompting everyone and their Boomer parents to go out an…