In order to celebrate my 500th post on this site, I thought I'd keep an e-diary of my cultural consumption over a seven-day period. Inspired by John August's latest contribution to Vulture.com, I took to my laptop and recorded one week in the life of yours truly. This is what went down...
2:18pm - Burned a mix CD featuring the new James Bond theme song, "Skyfall," by the magnificent Adele (yes, I realize this is 2012, and yes, I still make mix CDs). I plan to blare it as I drive through Santa Monica and pick up a paycheck for a treatment writing job I completed a month ago.
8:48pm - Movie Night: Popped in a DVD of the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer while dogsitting the adorable Jax at a friend's condo in Hollywood. I get a kick out of showing my friends the Ben Affleck and Ricki Lake cameos in Joss Whedon's 20-year-old horror comedy. I had brought several Blu-rays with me with the hope of pulling a marathon viewing on the couch this weekend.
11:02am - Finally started watching the Director's Cut of Watchmen. Holy crap this version is long.
2:30pm - I finish the last half of one of my favorite films of the year, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. I decide that I would like Dame Judi Dench to narrate my biopic.
3:30pm - I proceed to get lost in some DirecTV channel surfing and attempt to catch up on the episodes of Homeland I've missed, but Showtime OnDemand doesn't seem to be working.
5:15pm - Realizing I've wasted a perfectly gorgeous Saturday in my friend's condo -- the view of downtown L.A. is quite hypnotizing -- I finally go outside and drive to Target to pick up some St. Ives facial scrub, and miraculously, I leave the store without any extra purchases. This is a first.
6:25pm - I drive to Melrose to get a quick haircut at Rudy's where my stylist and I discuss Halloween costume suggestions. She considers dressing up as anything she can rummage out of her closet.
7:00pm - Craving more carbs after an afternoon of inhaling nachos and popcorn, I stop at Luca on Sunset to pick up a vegetable pizza, discreetly ogle the hot trainee they got behind the register, and buy a large Black Forest at The Coffee Bean across the street.
8:30pm - I invite my friend Stephanie to come over and introduce her to the bizarre world of Richard Kelly's Southland Tales. I had recently been inspired to rewatch it after trading Facebook comments about the film with director David Kittredge. Upon my fifth viewing of the film, I still try to wrap my head around the absurdly eclectic casting choices.
9:45am - Took Jax out for his morning walk. He pooped twice. Good boy.
2:30pm - Coffee at Priscilla's in Burbank where they once filmed an episode of Desperate Housewives (I think). The coffeeshop isn't writer-friendly; there are no power outlets to recharge a laptop. #Fail.
7:05pm - Finally return to my own apartment and overheat my DVR. With Revenge, 666 Park Avenue, the RHONJ reunion, the season premiere of the new Upstairs Downstairs, the premiere of that Steel Magnolias remake, and Homeland, Sunday night has become a traffic jam of titillating television.
7:13pm - I find the recent of issue of Entertainment Weekly, which is the only print magazine I subscribe to, under a pile of mail I haven't picked up since Thursday. I see that it's the Reunions Issue, turn to the Melrose Place cast photos, and proceed to freak the f**k out.
11:12am - Published my piece for ScreenPicks entitled "9 Things to Expect at Press Junkets". It's a harmless, wannabe expose on the goings-on during celebrity interviews.
7:30pm - I attend a press screening of Sinister with Matt at The Landmark in West L.A. I enjoy watching Ethan Hawke get the shit scared out of him. Mental note: Don't move into a house where the previous inhabitants fell prey to a child-eating ghoul.
9:30am - I arrive at the gym and thankfully discover that my lucky elliptical machine isn't being monopolized by that pesky Wolf Blitzer lookalike who smells like mothballs.
11:00am - I wait in line outside Culver Studios with Kristen to attend a taping of The Ricki Lake Show. Today's topic: ambush makeovers. #FriendsOfRicki.
12:20pm - I am hating myself for not eating a substantial post-workout meal while I continue to sit and wait to go into the studio. And it kills me that I have no iPhone/Twitter/Instagram/Facebook to consult while I wait. I am officially a nomophobe (a person who fears being without a mobile phone).
1:55pm - I stand in the middle of the studio audience next to Ricki herself and ask fashion gurus Lawrence Zarian and Kim Vo, "Do you guys have any fall fashion tips for the men in the audience?" Look Ma, I'm on TV!
5:12pm - I make a quick run to Target to check out all of the new releases (E.T. 30th Anniversary Edition on Blu-ray!) and unabashedly purchase a copy of Rock of Ages (Extended Edition).
10:30am - I catch the music video premiere of Pink's "Try." It's possibly one of her best videos to date. And: abs for days.
1:05pm - I read on the interwebs that CBS has cancelled Made in Jersey, which, to me, looks like it was made in Hell. Seriously, I viewed the pilot two months ago and couldn't believe a network exec gave it a greenlight. Shortly afterwards, I read the news about the same network buying a script from the girl who started the popular "Hollywood Assistants" Tumblr. Naturally, I react by writing a piece about it.
2:30pm - I study Facebook's terms and conditions in order to find a way to shut down a page of an imposter posing as a client of mine. This shit is tricky.
5:30pm - I get sucked into an episode of TLC's Long Island Medium and decide that I would love to have lunch with Teresa Caputo...y'know, without the whole dead people thing.
7:00pm - I stop by Book Soup in West Hollywood to support my friend Ned Vizzini whose book, The Other Normals, has recently hit stores. He did a brief reading and signing, followed by a small reception with Sprinkles cupcakes and champagne. As I already have my own autographed copy of his book, I quickly search the shelves for R.L. Stine's latest adult horror novel, Red Rain, and compulsively buy it after I say my goodbyes to Ned.
Tim perform at Rockwell. I regrettably miss his first two numbers, but I manage to grab a seat near the stage and enjoy the show.
8:34am - I wish Luke Perry a happy birthday -- via Hotter in Hollywood's Facebook page.
10:00am - I edit Beth Dinkel's ScreenPicks review of Smashed, starring Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Aaron Paul. Kind of makes me wish I had seen the movie myself.
1:55pm - I do some research on Bear Mountain Inn for my impending trip to New York. My parents and I plan to take my 90-year-old grandmother for a scenic autumn lunch during my visit.
2:22pm - I put in requests at 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment for copies of DVDs and Blu-rays in order to host some giveaways on Hotter in Hollywood. Preferably movies that people would actually want to win.
2:45pm - I get a tweet from the folks at Virgin America, replying to my shout-out regarding my flight back east. Makes me feel all warm and tingly inside.
3:30pm - Leave my social media manager's desk for the day, hit the gym in an attempt to burn off today's lunch, and then go home where I plan to watch Iron Sky. If you have no idea what this movie is, check out the trailer. Amazeballs.
And that's about it! Cataloging my daily activities and thoughts is kind of strange, but fun nonetheless. For the three of you who have stayed tuned to this blog, thanks for sticking it out with me after these 500 chapters.
Here's to the next 500.